For as long as I can remember...
That is how I've always begun the story of what I always thought of as a very strange, unique phobia I've had for, well, as long as I can remember. I've shared my fear quirk so many times over the years I have my spiel pretty well memorized: "For as long as I can remember I've had a nearly paralytic fear of being in the water next to anything larger or taller than I am. Bridge pylons, boats, floating lake platforms, docks..."
A favorite anecdote to illustrate this fear is the time we were at a family lake house and during our inner tubing adventures I was the ONLY person who would refuse to just hop out of the tube and swim back to the rear ladder of the motor boat when it was time to switch riders. I insisted on hand-over-hand pulling myself to the boat so I could step directly from the tube to the ladder without having to get into the water at all. No one else really got what my issue was and I had a hard time explaining it.
As I got older I got better at identifying specific, vivid memories from my youth that I thought may have contributed to this fear: the sinking ship scene in the movie The Black Stallion - there's a water surface shot looking up to a transatlantic-size passenger ship on fire with it's MASSIVE PROP spinning slowly and the distinctive, ominous 'thwump-thwump' sound it makes playing loud and oppressive - it's pretty intense for all the reasons and you can watch it here: Bing Videos. Another movie scene that really got me was courtesy of The Last Flight of Noah's Ark (another Disney contribution, you may discover a theme here...) in which survivors of a plane crash convert their 4-engine plane into a makeshift boat to get home from a tropical island. At one point the young girl is sitting alone, quietly minding her business in front of the huge glass pilot window that is now submerged in the water from turning the plane upside down, when outside of the window a great white shark ominously swims by, then directly AT her. That scenario was also a whole lot of nope. That said, they are very nostalgia-heavy movies for me and I recommend a viewing.
Then there was the family trip to Disney World (seeing the theme??) when I was 3 years old. Now, I know the common belief is that ages 3 and under are thought of as too young to have any substantial memories, but boy howdy, do I have a couple! One is of going on the Dumbo ride with my sister - the sunshine yellow 'dashboard' with buttons that make the arm holding your Dumbo seat raise and lower to adjust the rider's experience, being too short to see much of anything except over the short side entry where I would search the waiting crowd below to catch a glimpse of Mom and Dad watching us. This one has nothing to do with water like the next two, but still very distinct.
As for the other two experiences on this Florida adventure when I was 3, one was riding the retired 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea ride (fun fact: this ride still operates in Tokyo!). If you are unfamiliar, this one took place in an absolutely massive lagoon with boats designed to look like the Nautilus submarine from the movie it was named for. As I look at pictures now, even the boats themselves freak me out. On the ride passengers loaded into the boat from the top and sat below the surface of the water to provide the diving experience. Along the way there were many things to look at: old timey deep sea divers trapping sea creatures, sea serpents being lassoed by mermaids, sunken temple type replicas, and finally a trip through a dark cave that ended with the scene of another Nautilus submarine ensnared by the long tentacles of a huge nautilus/giant squid creature, complete with alarming sounds, a flashing red light, and SO MANY BUBBLES. My personal memory of the ride is not incredibly clear, detailed, or accurate, but I remembered the 'back corner' of it was dark, there was red light action, and lots of tentacles - close, but not exact. Let me be clear: as absolutely terrifying as this ride was/would be to me today, if I had the chance to ride it again tomorrow I would in a heartbeat! (witness this crazy trip here: Bing Videos)
My fear of being in the water next to larger/taller things is pretty extensive and completely illogical. When walking around the Tidal Basin in DC, I would feel the skin-tingling anxiety just thinking about if I accidentally fell off the sidewalk into the basin next to the sheer stone wall around it and would look for egress ladders so I could have an escape plan in mind. At the Baltimore Harbor I had to walk down the very center of the deck of the submarine docked there for the same reason - I could not handle getting close to either side for fear of falling off and being in the water next to the large vessel and having to tread water for longer than 0.5 seconds while waiting for rescue, or worse have to swim along and around it to find a dock ladder to climb up - double No No!
Interestingly, I have been able to become an advanced open water certified scuba diver with a deep water shipwreck dive under my belt, but I think clear water visibility and being more concerned about looking out for potential mana rays or hammerhead sharks overshadowed the looming ship next to me - I was also swimming more next to and above the ship than having it loom over me. Imagining, however, utilizing my diving certification to do something like maintaining mechanics of a large fountain like the Bellagio or the animatronics of a water ride (even one as tame and friendly as It's A Small World) sends me into that same skin-crawling fear that grips my heart. That kind of job might be cool, but to me it would be an absolute horror show.
Just this past week I learned my fear that I thought was a 'just me' thing, is not at all just me and actually has a name! Submechanophobia. Don't Google it, unless you want to give yourself nightmares you never knew possible, in which case have at it, and if you do make sure you look for an Italian water ride called Corsair, there's a sea creature situation in there that makes 20,000 Leagues look tame. I find that even though these underwater things freak me right the heck out, I am also impossibly fascinated by them and will sometimes look up videos or images of creepy underwater things because apparently, I make no sense.
